your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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