Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
