He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
