SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
