he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
