My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
