I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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