I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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