but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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