Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize