you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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