im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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