nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
