So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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