this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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