I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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