And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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