He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
