Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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