Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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