I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize