I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
