Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
