It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
