Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
