Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
