Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
