If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Everclear isn't food dammit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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