Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize