Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
