Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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