Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
