Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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