fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
