It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
