Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
