Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
