Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
