Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
