It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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