I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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