Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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