I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
