Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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