so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
