What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
