the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Randomize
