I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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