I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
