I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
