Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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