No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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