can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
