boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
