My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
