Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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