Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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