Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
