We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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