plz talk dirty to me
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
