do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
