I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
